Too much too young? (updated)
I just don’t know what on earth Jemma, Natasha and Jade were thinking of to go on telly and let the tabloids take photos of them and interview them. It was never going to be pretty.
SISTERS Jemma, Natasha and Jade Williams proudly pose with their tots — after getting pregnant aged 12, 16 and 14. The three girls and their children share a council home in Derby with their twice-divorced mum Julie, 38. None of the toddlers’ dads is supporting their children — so the Williams family rakes in £31,000-a-year benefits.
Newspaper pieces like these really get my goat (and it’s not just The Sun – everyone’s at it today, see here and here). Every time we put another teenage mum on the front cover of the paper, we legitimise the prejudice she faces from other people. And it is prejudice. 90% of teenage mums aged 16-17 are on benefits (as you would expect, as continuing a pregnancy as a teenager is overwhelmingly something that happens to young women from deprived or disadvantaged areas), but young mums aged 16-17 are entitled to between £10 and £22 less per week than older mums on benefits. Anecdotally, young mums experience real discrimination at school, with many being informally excluded, despite government guidance that says that pregnancy isn’t grounds for exclusion. They also get it in the neck from healthcare professionals – one young mum that I’ve met had the midwife’s hand held over her mouth through her labour to “stop her making so much noise” - and from the general public, who think they have a perfect right to comment on them and disapprove of them.
Now, what I’m not saying is that what these young women have done is to be applauded. I’m saying that if we want them to get off benefits and one day get a career and provide for their families, we shouldn’t demonise them. Fewer than 8 young women aged under 16 in a thousand give birth every year, so this case is quite unusual.
I’m encouraged that two of the young women are still in school – less than one in three teenage mums stay in education – and the “free nursery care” that they get absolutely indispensable in making this happen – it’s a small scale government scheme called “Care to Learn”, which is paid directly to the childcare provider if the teenage mum goes back to school or college, up to £5k per year. So that’s £10k of that notorious £31k they get accounted for, leaving £21k p.a. to support two adults, two teenagers and three toddlers. Doesn’t seem exactly the lap of luxury does it? And what’s the alternative, anyway? Is the Sun’s argument that, instead of “raking it in”, these young women shouldn’t get any benefits so that their kids starve? Is that really what they’re calling for here? And would that be anyway for a civilised society to behave?
Of course the dads should contribute to their children (and I hope the CSA gets their act together); I love the way that the Sun and the rest conveniently ignore that it takes two to tango – clearly the young women are entirely to blame for this situation, with the menfolk, who have taken no responsibility at all, getting off scot-free. Double standards that the women can’t escape – because if they’d had an abortion, that would have been wrong too, of course.
Of course young women shouldn’t be getting pregnant at 12, 14 and 16, and their mum has it partly right – school should have taught them better. Too much sex and relationships education is too biological and far far too late. I strongly believe that SRE must be about feelings, relationships and emotions, confidence- and self esteem-building, about teaching young people the skills to negotiate with their partners about condom use, contraception, about when they’re ready and when they’re not. It has to be about biology too, of course, and it has to start early – key stage 1 is my preference – not conversations about anal sex with five year olds, but conversations about relationships and friendships, leading to body changes and where babies come from as they get older, and so on.
But despite all this, young people still say they want their sex education to come from their parents, not from school and not from playground gossip. If you’ve got kids – talk to them, talk to them tonight. If you’re not sure where to start, Parentline Plus have got an amazing set of resources here. And the other way to prevent teenage pregnancy? Ensure that your daughter is confident and has aspirations for a career. Young women with a future and a means of asserting their independence and adult status don’t need to become a mother in their teens, and will in most cases make sure they don’t.
PS - if you want to know the real facts about teenage mums, there’s a little bit of information just here.
what a load of liberal nonsense. these slags should be shot and their bastard children sold apes.
teenage mums are should learn to stop opening their legs because their awful children will all be criminals. the slag, i hate them all and their impoverished ugly children
To feed the trolls or not to feed the trolls… That is the question for the twenty-first century blogger.
I understand the general conception of teenage mums, but we`re not all the same. I`m 17 and am currently doing 5 A-levels. I got pregnant when I was 15 with my boyfriend of 1 year who was 19 at the time. I had twins, Olivia and Leo and when they were 4 months old my boyfriend died in a car crash, I was absolutly devestated but had to push on for the kids. I`m not on benefits and still live with my parents, who were really angry when they found out I was pregnant, but when they realised I was ademant on keeping them, they had to accept it. My kids go to a private nursery when I`m at school and are very happy babies. People look down at me in the street as if to say, there goes another tart who`s claiming benefits. If they only knew!!! I`ve never claimed a penny from the state, I work hard at school because when I finish I want to go to uni and study law, and most important, they don`t have a dad because he was the victim of a terrible accident. His family are still and will always be involved in their lives, and so if one day some ignorant person makes a comment, they can stand up and prove them wrong. Olivia and Leo are my life and I wouldn`t change them for the world, even though I have and probably will always suffer the disapproving looks I get. Granted I don`t have a social life, but it was my desicion to keep them and bring them up. If I hadn`t had such supportive parents who do all they can to help with their grandchildren, then I PROBABLY WOULD BE JUST ANOTHER ONE ON BENEFITS, BUT I`M NOT!!!!! Why is it right that my parents should suffer prejudice?, when all they`ve done basically is looked after me and helped. Most teenage mums do have kids that turn out to be criminals, but not all of us. Some do actually care, contrary to popular belief!!!
To the selfish idoit bitches who said those slags should be shot. Get over yourselves just coz you are to old to have kids and ur so ugly that no1 would wanna sex you with your loose flaps. uR SO PATHETIC i can’t belive ppl like u should be allowed to critise teenage mums cos thats called bullying some things that u fat old asses complaing about us doing. So i’m doing it to u, fat ass
i was looking on google when i clicked on this web site i just wanted to say its not easy being a teen mum. i m 16 with a 3 week old baby, i dont get on very well with my mum and my dads not around so i dont get much help from them, the babys dad left to get back with his ex 2 days after she was born and i aint see or heard from hom since, me and baby are living on £35 a week because noone will help me salt out my money they would rather just look down on me.its not easy and any one that said it is aint a single teen mum
those people who have decided theyve got nothing better to do than leave crap comments, do you just expect girls to use a termination as a form of contraception no but what you lot dont get is that us teen mums have done the right thing by keeping these children! an its u dickheads that should be shot you dont have a clue!teen mums are stereotyped which is wrong an the people that give out those pity looks dont know the background of each of these girls!im 16 an in the last few weeks of my pregnancy i live at home with the rest of my family an im in a supportive financial state (my dads on a very high paid salary) but this is my child an if theirs extra money out their i can claim for that can be my own then so i will!theirs no harm in being able to do so!thats untill i feel am ready to go back into further education but untill then my child comes first i dont care what anyone says!! some girls havent got it as easy as me so i hope they get more help!
Ok… so I’m like 2 year late on this, but this page is coming up near the front of a google search, so there are obviously people reading it, therefore I shall continue…
“what a load of liberal nonsense. these slags should be shot and their bastard children sold apes”
“teenage mums are should learn to stop opening their legs because their awful children will all be criminals. the slag, i hate them all and their impoverished ugly children”
…my jaw has literally dropped to the floor. I just cannot express my disgust in words. I can tell you now. I would much rather be a teen mum, than a uneducated, fowl mouthed, prat like this.
I am 19. My children are 2.5 and 1. Me and my partner own our own home, I have my own business, and my children are being brought up to learn right and wrong and good manners (of which you obviously need to learn). I can safely say my situation and the way my so called “impoverished ugly children” are being brought up, is a hell of a lot better than non-teenage mum’s… who believe it or not, also claim benefits and live in council houses.
I know for a fact there are so many fantastic parents out there… who just happen to be a year or too shy of the “acceptable age” of being a parent.
So WAY TO GO Mash, on making a difference to the world with you vitally accurate comments!
This blog makes for a very interesting read. I’m just wondering if any of you could get back to me as i’m currently producing a magazine aimed at young mums for my third year assignment. I would love to hear your thoughts. My email is corky_242@hotmail.com.
im 16 i had a pregnancy scare wen i was 15. i no alot ov teen mums n dey are all gd luvin mums 2 ther babys. i wud reli reli lv 2 av a baby now ive wanted one for yrs but i aint dat stupied cos ma fam wud dis own me. my cuzin had an abortion which i dont fink is rong cos it depends on ya circumstances but she was reli depressed afta she had an abortion. all d teen mums well the ones hu actully luk afta ther kid shud b praised not dissed cos they are devotin ther lyf 2 someone else so stop dissin em !
to the person hu sed teen mums r slags n tha babys shud b shop get a fuckin life!!
I cant believe those comments left by mash at the start! I’m 17 and I have 6 month old son, I stayed on at school and I’m taking an A level in maths and science, and I work very hard. I dont have a job but I dont claim benefits either as my partner who I have been with for 3 years now has his own business. I plan to get a job after I go to uni so I dont fit the stereotype of a typical teenage mum and I know a fair few people sho dont either! So before you go judging us you need to know what we are doing with our lives and how well we look after our children!!!
what some people are saying is really horrible. teen mothers shouldnt be named slags. Im about to become a mum just at 17. And yer i am young, but i have my whole life ahead of me. Not all young mums are the same.
just some people are in different lifes. some of us have support of our other halfs. like me my boyfriend works, we just brought a flat together.
but some of us dnt have it that easy, and i wish people could understand that, not everyone has a other half that can be there for them or even support them. or the most common is that the father doesnt want to know.
there are only a few nice guys out there, and some women need more support than others, and that should bt understood by people of this world. Benefits are only a small amount of money that is given to parents. its not much at all. and some of us have that luck where we dont have to, but there are mothers out there trying their best for their children and only want the best for them.
And for them people sayin they are ’slags’ your soooo wrong. maybe if men like you didnt go round maybe babies like they are nothing then maybe it wouldnt happen. Its not just the women, its the men to. And it easy to name a mother….but why not the father.
And finding you pregnant might be a good thing or might not be at first, but its hard to get rid of a baby inside.i couldnt go through with it, its hard. And most people that have, would never go through it again…..
Having a baby and calming benefits isnt a bad thing, they have a baby to look after….and yes its hard work. mothers can go back to there jobs after or go back to studing. there so much time to do so.
so dnt judg us……..cz we are not all the same!!!!!!!
Well i do think thats not right but i have a friend that might be pregnant and she is only 13 years old… but dont call her a slut or slag or whatever.
you see she had a 17 year old boyfriend and felt she didnt really have a choice if she had sex with him or not…but the fact is he did and she regrets it so very much coz not only could she ruin her life she could do the same to her babys if she is pregnant.
and worst of all he mum and didnt even know she was going out with him, because they hate his guts and she is not going to tell her perants.
im her best fwend and she told me coz i was the only one who would stick by her and support her.
not all teenagers go oot with older guy to have sex with them to get pregnant, she just feel inlove with the wrong guy and now much pay for her mistake…teenagers like my best fwend who hav done something stupid by accident…well i think there should be a place where these girls could go for help and support coz they are just young girls who are so not ready to bring another life in this world it would be to much responsibility for them,
im not trying to say that she is all inocent, she should of been stronger…all im saying is sometimes it wasnt ment and instead of calling them horrid names you should at least try and help them…i agree not all teenagers do it by accident and some wait till there are ready.
as i said before there should be a place where teens like my best fwend can go to get checked oot and advise and support…she is sooo scared that she is pregnant but she doesnt deserve to get called a slut who cant keep her legs closed…because she puts her hands up and says even though i didnt think i had a choice i am still in the wrong and i think it takes guts to say that.
so please b 4 u call any one a slut, just think coz it might not be hope it seems and maybe one day you might be in that situation and want help from ppl but they will ture there backs on you coz u did on them…she is my best fwend and i wasnt going to turn aways from her in her hour of need am just not like that and i told her no matter what you do i will not judge you and i’ll always be here for you.
thank you if you took time to read this, it means alot to me !! xxx
yuus people dat r judgin teen mums av gt tuu learn tuu keep yur fukin mouths shut. if yuu dnt lyk dem dnt waste yur tym cumin on here judgin dem. yuu dnt even no who dey r… yh dey may be yung bt atlease give dem a chance nd yh sum teen mums r bad parents bt dat doesnt mean all teen mums r. nd 4 da ppl dat r sayin teenage mums babies shuld b shot WOW!!! hw sik r yuu dats fukin cruel its nt der falt der mums gt a pregnant at a yung age nd it has nufin tuu do wid yuu wat teenagers do wid der lyfs
i mean com on if sum1 sed dat tuu yur mum bcse she fell pregnant wid yuu at a yung age i bet yuu wuld go mad.
jst stop judgin poor teen mums der jst da same as a 30yr old mums. yy do yuus people have such a bad problem wid des yung mums ? just give dem a break yuus r actin lyk lil kids.
just leave dem alone
21st century directive Its a womans right to have a child at any age she chooses but everyones responsibility to provide financial maintenance.
i tink its shocking what yoor saying here i fell pregnant at 15 ant theres nothing wrong with it everyone covers bad press on young mums but when dose the good young mums get any press?
NEVER
its so easy for people to jugde but they dont know what gose on in there own home
I think am a great mum and its not right to judge just because of our ages!