Respect for teenage mums
I’ve been working and birthdaying for the past few days: meanwhile you’re all coming here to find out about George Galloway, and elsewhere in the world of blogs the usual suspects are chuntering on about the Respect action plan. Well, I’m disappointed that there’s no money earmarked for a youth club and youth workers in every neighbourhood in the country, starting with the estates where youth service cuts mean there’s bugger-all for kids (now where would those be? Surely not in Oxfordshire, where the Tories and Liberals ensure we have some of the lowest youth service spending in the country?), but the rest of it seems pretty okay.
One of the less-noticed parts of the Respect action plan was the section about teenage parents. As you all rely on me to be your source of all knowledge and frequent updates about teenage mums, I thought I’d better give this section a good going-over. The original document is here (PDF): the bit I’m referring to is page 19.
So, the section is headed “Focussing help on parents who most need it”, and to my surprise there is a section headed “ACTION: We will further incentivise teenage parents to attend parenting classes”.
Great, think I. There may be only 29,000 teenage mums in the country, but as usual they assume a profile out of all proportion to their and their children’s impact on antisocial behaviour and crime, and merit special measures in the plan to decrease those undesirable behaviours we’re always told about. I’m not encouraged.
Children born to teenage parents are particularly likely to experience a range of poor outcomes in later life, including low educational attainment. They are also more likely to become teenage parents themselves, helping to perpetuate problems across generations.
I won’t disagree with that really; though as usual, there is no new analysis here, just the same rehashed verbiage that we’ve seen in every document about teenage pregnancy produced by government since the SEU’s teenage pregnancy report, with its inconsistent evidence collection strategy and complete gender-blindness.
There is therefore a particularly strong case for taking action to improve the parenting skills of teenagers who become pregnant.
The children of teenage parents are likely to become teenage parents, so to stop them, we’d better make their parents into better parents because teenage pregnancy is caused by bad parenting? How interesting - so area and family deprivation, lack of aspiration, inadequate sex and relationships education and inaccessibility of contraceptive services don’t come into it?
Support for learning by teenage parents will be increasingly more accessible through Children’s Centres and other aspects of local children’s services.
But we know that teenage mums do worse in Sure Start areas (the forerunners of children’s centres), so how will you make sure that this doesn’t happen in the national roll-out? A good place to start thinking about it would be by going to a generic mixed-age antenatal class and watching how the teenage pregnant woman is treated by the professionals and the other expectant mothers, and then considering why it is that the vast majority of young mums don’t access the services they are entitled to.
But we will go further
We will make available Education Maintenance Allowances (EMAs) to teenage parents taking part in parenting classes if they are not already covered by EMAs.
We will ensure that the Activity Agreement Allowances being piloted from April 2006, (£60 million over two years) include teenage parents.
We will extend eligibility for the Care to Learn scheme, which contributes to childcare costs while young parents learn, to 19 year olds.
Unreservedly welcome these, though it’s not as if they are new announcements.
But then there’s the killer:
We will reinforce existing sanctions on Income Support (IS) for 16 and 17 year olds – 20% reduction in IS if they do not attend a learning focused interview with Connexions in Jobcentre Plus areas.
Many of the young mums I’ve met through work were struggling to meet even their very basic needs, such as having a healthy pregnancy, secure financial support and housing.
Just imagine. You’re a teenage mum, aged 16, and you’ve got a new baby to support. You get £104.12 in total from all sources to live on every week. (By the way, that’s £22.35 less than a mum in the same situation as you who’s 25, ‘cos clearly nappies cost 20% less if you buy them when you are 16 rather than 25.) Some letter comes from someone or another, saying you have to be at this building in town at 10.30am on Tuesday next week. You don’t have a car, money’s really tight and the bus is expensive; you may be on your own in a lone tenancy, and there’s no respite from the new baby. You’re more likely to have post-natal depression, and you’re unlikely to have eaten a healthy diet during pregnancy. Your friends are all being teenagers. And besides, the meeting says it’s about education: you probably haven’t been a regular attender at school for several years before you got pregnant. No wonder you miss the meeting. Bang goes £20.
Come on now. We all want young mums to go back to school or college, but it’s not like the money is being used for trips to Florida and the down payment on a jet ski.
Sex education really isn’t the problem. There may, somewhere, be a pregnant teenager who doesn’t know what causes babies, but they’re hardly very common. If one considers, for example, the much-reviled sisters (aged 12, 14 and 16) who all have small babies - I think they’re called Williams - the eldest had had two abortions before deciding to carry a pregnancy to term. I think she had probably figured out what was causing it…
Lack of aspiration? Sure. Lack of a feeling of self-worth? Probably. Complete unawareness of financial consequences because everybody you know lives on benefits? Maybe. Barking mad mother (she who allowed her 11 year old daughter to have sex in her house, but thinks Tony Blair is responsible)? Absolutely.
There are two quite seperate problems - what do you do about the teenage mums that you’ve got, and how to not get so many in the future. The way to get the latter has to be to eliminate the aspiration-free, welfare-dependant culture that forms a cancerous growth in our cities. To help the existing teenage mums, it seems as thought the first thing you would do is to stop introducing schemes, forms and other confusing things, and provide a single social-worker type who can get to know the mum in question and do everything - benefits, job counselling etc.
Sam,
You’re right: sex education isn’t the problem: the lack of adequate sex and relationships education is part of the problem.
Otherwise, I’d agree with mostly everything you say, even if not how you say it - “aspiration-free, welfare-dependant culture that forms a cancerous growth in our cities” is a bit over-the-top, don’t you think? You’ll find I’ve already said most of it previously in the posts about teenage pregnancy.
Antonia
A couple of questions occur:
Are we stating the problem correctly? Queen Victoria had her first child when she was 18-19, and no one complained that the Queen of England and the Empire was a teenage mother. After all she was married, and presumably the happy couple could provide for the child. It might be more accurate to say the problem is inadequate parents.
Second question:
From the viewpoint of the mothers in question - why should they not have children? The state will pay for everything, if they cannot. Take the youngest Willians daughter: At 12 years old she can say and belive that she has acheived everything her mother ever did.
1 I think you will find that Oxfordshire’s level of spending on youth services reflects Oxfordshire’s funding for youth services.
2 I agree with you that this document is generally more of the same verbige.
3 I can’t see how Children’s Centres are going to be equipped to provide adequate educational opportunities for teenage parents. Far better to encourage better practice in secondary schools and colleges and fund them to support sudents who are young mothers.
4 Fully agree with your assessment that there is no justification for treating 16/17 year olds any less generously than others.
Hello Neil,
“I think you will find that Oxfordshire’s level of spending on youth services reflects Oxfordshire’s funding for youth services.”
I doubt it, mate. From the NYA’s most recent review of local authority youth services spending (PDF): “Local authority youth services reported receiving from their authority between 98 per cent to 23 per cent of the new youth and community sub-block allocation of the Education Formula Spend. The median average was 60 per cent. A quarter were allocated 76 per cent or more.” That is to say, over 75% of local authorities raided the money earmarked for youth services to pay for other things.
Oxfordshire also spent £53.89 per head on ever 13-19 year old: the national average is £71. (source here) The biggest issue where I live, in one of the more deprived areas of the city and a world away from the pretty little villages, is that young people having nothing to do and their constant presence wrongly or rightly makes people feel threatened, but the county is content to siphon money off youth services to pay for something it seems to think is more important.
Back on teenage mums: I don’t think they intend to make children’s centres places for learning in general, but for parenting classes. It would be a good place to have them as long as the professionals get the issues for teenage mums in particular and can combat the negative assumptions about them. Better practice in schools and colleges is needed, I agree: despite it being specifically prohibited, I have still come across examples of young women being excluded for getting pregnant on spurious health and safety grounds (cos schools can make it safe for pregnant teachers, but not for pregnant schoolgirls?), and the average number of hours’ education young mums get per week is five. But where it’s viable, the best solution I have seen is setting up young mums’ schools, as the onsite childcare and attention to their particular needs means that they get a much more rounded and joined-up experience.
I’m a teenage mum and still at school. Just because I’m a teenage mum that doesn’t mean my son will be. Also being a teenage mum does not mean you live on benefits - first of all you are not entitled to benefits til you leave school, and for the record I plan on going to college, so not every teenage parent is a sponger off the state.
Fair enough April, and good luck to you, though I don’t like the way some people on benefits are “spongers off the state” and others, such as pensioners, are “getting what they’re due”.
Hi Antonia,
There is a difference in people’s minds, though - as your entitlement to the state pension is related to the number of years NI contributions you have made, it appears to people as though they have “paid in” to the system in order to be able to retire on a pension, and are now entitled to do so. By working and paying NI, people think they have “bought” a state pension, and are now entitled to what they have paid for.
Pensioners are also, broadly speaking, perceived as modest, thrifty people who might every now and then take advantage of their free bus pass to go on a day trip somewhere.
By contrast, the stereotypical sponger beloved of the tabloids hasn’t worked for most of his adult life, is actively engaged in the production of the next generation of spongers, is fit and healthy but spends his days lounging around in front of expensive Sky TV.
So whilst pensioners are perceived as getting what they have paid for, our hero looks like a lazy wastrel who gets what the rest of us pay for.
I do not see the problem with being a teenage mum as I believe that if you are responsible and feel ready to be a mum(if you have a secure life, finances, house and not mentaly ill) then it should’t matter what age you are when you do take a step into motherhood.
hi. im a teenage mum, i have a daughter, Charli, who is 5 in october and and son, Kieran, who is 3 in January, but the only reason i decided to keep Charli was because i knew that i would not need to claim benefits, because my boyfriend has a good job and a good income. i was 14 when i gave birth to Charli and i lived with my Dad and stepmum until i was 16, while my boyfriend paid for everything Charli needed. when i was 16 i got pregant again (by Charli’s Dad) and i moved in with him. we now live in a three bedroom council house, which my boyfriend pays for. i have been a teenage mum for nearly five years and have never claimed a penny off of the government. i belive that if you know that you will need to use tax payers money to pay for your child, then you should not have a baby.
DUDE The teenatge mums are slags. they decide O IM NOT DOING WELL IN SCHOOL ILL HAVE A BABY AND LIVE OFF THE COUNCIL YES… ONE THEING LUV PPLE LIKE MY NAN AND OTHER OAPS NEED THAT BENFIT MONEY TO LIVE ON COS THEYVE WORKED ALL THEIR LIVES.. RESPECT TEENAGE MUMS !!!!??? RESPECT THEM… ILL RESPECT THEM WHEN THEY JUMP OFF A CLIFF THERE THE LOWEST THINGS ON EARTH MY UNCLE LIVES OF £70 A WEEK WHEREAS A SLUTTY TEENAGE MUM GETS A HOUSE FOR LIFE AND £200 A WEEK THATS SELFISH BECAUDSE MY UNCLE HAS NO LEGS AND LIVES IN SQUALLOR I HATE ALL TEENAGE MUMS AND THEY CAN DIE FOR ALL I CARE ITS MORE MONEY FOR THE DISABLED WHO PHYSICLY CANT GET A JOB AND WHO ACTUALLY NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT .. SO DONT RESPECT THEM SELFISH SLAGS HATE THEM ….I REST MY CASE !!!!!
omg wot u on about teenage mums are slags you go thru it … ther not slags at all u shld have all respect 4 the gals ther brave for even finkin about keepin the babi. i dnt fink u realise how such a big thing it is so y dnt u stop chingerin and tak a luk at ur own sad lyfz x xx x x
Firstly…everyone is entitled to an opinion, however there is a fine line between an opinion and an insult.
I am a teenage mum, i am 18, i had my daughter at the age of 16.
I was in a long term relationship with my boyfriend, then 17.
Neither of us had a job.
We were using two methods of contraception but both failed.
We considered abortion and even booked an appointment so that we could feel the reality of the option.
I had a scare with a bleed at 7 weeks into the pregnancy, i was given an emergency scan, everything was fine- but seeing the baby’s heart beating on the screen even as early as 7weeks was definately a turning point.
We cancelled the abortion and looked forward to the birth of our baby!
I sat my GCSE’s 6 months pregnant.
I passed all of them at A, B, & C grade.
When our daughter arrived july 2005 my partner had started his own martial arts business so that he could provide for us.
In Feb 06 we moved out and into a council home.
Recieving basic child tax credit and child benefit and paying rent for £1,050 per month on a two bed home in littlemore plus an extra £400 per month minimum for bills was too much so we decided to move to Bicester, where we would pay only £600 p/m for a larger two bed house.
All three of us are still living in Bicester. I work part time, My partners’ business is going brilliantly and my daughter, Lara is a star
I wouldn’t change anything except I do wish i could have been blessed with Lara a few years later!
Remember - every one’s situation is different. Do not put us all in the same basket. Most of us are great parents and are hard working parents!!!(anyone with a baby will know there is no getting away from the fact that PARENTHOOD is HARDWORK and does require certain SACRIFICES.
Kimberly.G proud teenage mother. Oxford
E-mail : kimberly.g@hotmail.co.uk
I agree Kimberly, everyone’s situation is different.
I was a teenage mother, I had my eldest 6 months before my 20th birthday.
When I found out, I was still living like a teenager. I was out of home and had been for 2 years but I had little responsibility and spent alot of time just having fun.
My boyfriend (now husband) and I decided to have the baby. We had been together for a few years, known each other for longer and had started to plan our lives (in pencil) together.
I was hard but we did it. He had two jobs and I worked until the end of my pregnancy with her so that those first few months weren’t so trying for us and I could be at home with her.
3 years later, we had another girl. I was 22.
We’re married, have two children, have saved enough of a deposit to buy our own place this year and are living the life of a couple much older than ourselves.
We’ve never got one cent from the government.
It’s all about attitude and having enough self worth to educate yourself.
I was reading some of the comments some people were leaving, and I have to admit that I disagree with some of yall. I am 16 and I dropped out of school at 15 because of me pregnancy. I was getting threatened at school 24/7 because of my pregenancy by jelous girls that liked my boyfriend (now my husband). When I had my baby I started going to college and now Im a year away from graduating with my associates degree. My husband has a great job and supports us both until I graduate sometime next year. I dont think people should stereotype young teenage mother because of their ages because some of them (like me) might be living better and treating their babies better than a 30 year old would.
I just want to say that everything you have said about teenage mothers is completley true. Im 18 and have a 2 year old daughter.Im at university and i am fed up of the stick that teenage mums recieve, were not bad, but the media makes us out to be. how do people expect us to ask for help, if we r just going to looked down on when we ask for help…
my daughter grace is 6months.she was a complete suprise and i did not have her to get out of college.i did my AS levels when Iwas about 6months pregnant.i am 18 now and returning to college in september to finish my Alevels and hoping to do an english degree at university afterwards.before i became pregnant with Grace i had decided that i couldnt be bothered with uni, now i am more determined than ever to get at least one degree,so that i can set an example to grace and so that i can prove to myself that i can do it.i live at home with my mum (proud young grandma) and i pay my way!graces dad and i are not ready to live together yet but want to get married and buy a house in the future.i have given up alcohol as i breastfeed grace.i still enjoy spending time with my friends and shopping,but now its even better because i have a tiny little person to share it all with!being a young mum is hard and you do face a lot of prejudice but for me, and many others, this makes me more determined to be successful.i might only be 18,but this doesnt stop my child from being the most important thing in the world to me!
oh yeah and, i have found that there is very little help out there.i did have sex education in school but all this taught me was that sperm look like tadpole.i think a good way to help young people would be to get real teenage parents (like myself) into schools and to tell them how life is with a child.i love grace with all my heart but i wouldnt encourage people to try and get pregnant at such a young age.once pregnant, there is very little help, at least in my area.i went to a family planning clinic for advice, they asked when i wanted to book the abortion and when i said i didn’t they told me i was at the wrong place!? is it family planning or family banning?i felt so alone that i endured the first 5 and a half months of pregnancy in silence until i couldn’t physically hide it.now i have had my daughter and i do not expect any special help but i would like some guidance on how to find child care and how to cover the cost of living when i return to college in september.in all the clinics etc i have visited there have been and endless suply of leaflets about abortion.i think its time a leaflet was published that gave realistic help and steps to take for scared and confused young parents if they want to keep their baby.for example where to go next (doctor),possible reactions your parents might have,how to cope with the looks and abuse.i wouldnt advise leaving these leaflets everywhere because i wouldnt want teenagers to think it was easy, but it would be useful to teenagers who already found out they were pregnant.sorry to rant but its a very personaql issue!
My daughter was pregnant at 16. as shock to all of us. I am from a middle class background, semi-detached house on a private estate. I WAS NOT a teenage mum myself. It was entirely her choice to have the baby. I just made sure she was informed with all the options. i am a nurserynurse of 15 years
I have witnessed the sneers and chatter, especially off older people when she gets on a bus or pushes the pram.
My darling grandson is gorgeous and although no one on this site will no me from Adam, I just wanted to say she is a bloody BRILLIANT mum. She lived with me for a while and I helped her out. But she has done it all on her own , with her partner who stuck by her.
They live together in a private rented house, he works, she is at college and ONLY CLAIMING EMA, she gets NO other money. She is talking about University in 2009.
Iam emensly proud of her, she is 18 and has proved lots of people wrong.
She is not a scrounger and shame on all those Judgemental pensioners and others. I hope to God one day your own ‘imperfect’ wrongdoings are never made public………. He who is without sin cast the first stone…….
There are possibly some teenage mums who milk it but dont dare tar everyone of them with the same brush.
To teenage mums….. There is plenty of life after
giving birth, plenty of childcare for you to get on with your life in college or work, Just stick two fingers up to the sneerers and gossips and prove them wrong
T B
Im a young mum i was pregnant with my daughter at 17 i did my AS levels 5 months pregnant and went back and finished my A-Levels on a part time basis once my daughter was old enough to go into childcare i am now studing for a degree in social policy which im due to graduate from this summer! I went to one of these young mums groups and found that none of the girls there meet with the stereotypical “teenage mum” they were all either working parttime to support themselves and there children or were studying at college so i wish people would keep their noses out of other ppls lives and worry about what there doing! not everyones perfect we all have tough choices to make in our lives so id just like to say as a final note best wishes to all the young parents that are reading this and well done on doing such a great job! i know its tough but we all cope somehow !
I am a young mum, i fell pregnant at 16. Firstly i didn’t and still don’t not drink, smoke and take any form of drugs. When i was pregnant i carried on with my regular excercise and ate three healthy meals a day. When my son was born i breast fed, attended mum and baby classes and started a rountine from the word go.My son, partner and i live in a beautiful private rented house and both have well paid jobs. We have never taken money off the government. I don’t think anybody can critisise teenage parents unless you live their lives. Every parent has a different story to tell, and no matter what age the parent who ever says that it is easy? Despite my age my son has never gone with out or suffered in any way shape or form. He eats healthily has a real interest in books (i only allow t.v on for one hour) and he loves to play out in the fresh air,, he knows his numbers, colours, shapes, and half of the jolly phonics, he only turned three 2 months ago. It angers me to think i am classed any less of a parent because of my age. I made a decision and i have never regretted one moment of him. I am not saying that it was easy because it is far from that, i have missed out on alot but i look at ,my son and fill up with proudness.
I have every faith in every young parent out their, We can all do it, WITH THE RIGHT HELP AND SUPPORT.
everyone is entitled to their own opinion yes. but if they only want to be mean then i dont think they should say it as it can affend and hurt many people. i am going to be a young mum myself in about 8weeks and i have had no support off anyone so far apart from my partner. the midwife looks down her nose at me and my parents dont want to know. the thing is its not as if i intended to get pregnant just for the benifits or to ‘get a free ride’. my baby was made through love and nobody will ever put her down whilst i’m aroung!! young mums (and dads) need respect, help and just to be looked on as equals. a young mum is not a ‘bad mum’, she can and probably will be as good as any older mum is!… maybe even better!!!
I get very angry when people talk about teenage mothers. I am a teenage mum and i feel that we are all classed as one. When in fact every situation is different and people should not be so quick to judge. I have read the facts that are on your pamphlet and maybe they are facts but that does not mean they apply to every single teenage mother. I was 16 when i fell pregnant and gave birth to healthy baby girl weighing 8lbs 6oz.I breastfed her and cooked all of her food myself. She is now two and a half and I have just successfully toilet trained her. She is a bright little girl. I had completed my G.C.S.E’s and had a full time job. My partner also had a full time job and we have both worked so hard to provide for our daughter. It is true that when we first started out, we did have some help with benefits but two years on we have managed to buy our home and only receive child benefit, which any parent receives. We both work full time and my partner is a deputy manager of a restaurant. It is so unfair to judge young parents as there are some who do work for what they have and want their children to grow up with everything they need. I never see it spread across the papers how irresponsible it is for parents to be having children over the age of forty. Not only for the risks of health problems for mother and baby but also the fact that when that child attends school they will be being picked up by somone in their mid-fifties, who looks more like a grandparent then a parent. Older parents will not have the energy that I have. I work full time and still manage to take my daughter swimming, to sing-along session etc. Instead of focusing on the negative side of teenage pregancy, maybe people should praise us teenage mums for being so brave to have a baby at such a young age. Contraception can never be 100% and this should be recognised, instead of being ignored. Teenage mums make the best, most caring mums as the have the time and energy for their children. It is unfair to slate the mums that do decide to stay at home to care for their children. The whole point of having a child is to bring that child up.